Charlotte and I went to our favorite local baby store the other weekend. This store is what I like to call "crunchy", meaning they promote environmentally friendly items, and their main items are cloth diapers. While I like to think I know a lot about cloth diapers, every time I step foot in that store I feel like a complete newbie and totally overwhelmed. But this is not about cloth diapers... I will save that for another post.
C and I went to the store for a "Baby Wearing" class. I had tried to time our day so that C would be well rested and fed before we left. Silly mommy! C was happy and content as we walked around the store perusing the fluff before the class started, but about 5 minutes before the class started C decided she was done and wanted everyone in the store to know it. You should have seen the pregnant ladies' faces. You know the face... "oh dear God, I hope my child won't act like that in public" mixed with "just shut the kid up already." Another new mother sitting on a couch in the back said innocently, "do you want to sit back here and nurse her?" I hope she didn't see the daggers that shot out of my eyes!
Let me stop here and fill you in... Charlotte and I have had a rocky breastfeeding relationship. Let's just say I have 1 innie and 1 outie, add to that a low supply from the beginning, and that's pretty much what we were up against. On C's 1 day visit to the pediatrician we were told to start supplementing because she had dropped in weight, and we've been supplementing ever since. Once I went back to work, my low supply dropped even lower. I tried everything, nursing more, pumping more, supplements, oatmeal. Now, at 4 months, Charlotte is pretty much on 100% formula and it breaks my heart.
I knew from the beginning of my pregnancy that I wanted to breastfeed, and I wanted to try and do it until Charlotte was at least 1 year old. I had done all the research, I knew it was going to be tough being her sole source for nutrition, but I was not prepared for the "speed bumps" and total derailments that came my way.
I talk to new moms about all things baby, and when the subject of breastfeeding comes along, I hang my head and say we are "part time" nursing. I want to be the mom that says "Oh it's wonderful, yes, it was hard at the beginning, but it's so worth it now." I get a lot of "have you tried (fill in the blank)" and "well at least you tried." And if the pediatrician tells me one more time "that's completely normal" I might lose it! I mean really, if everything is normal, how do I know when something isn't normal?
I keep thinking to myself, next time I will know what to expect and hopefully things will be different. My heart aches thinking that I am not doing all I can for Charlotte in these most important few months. But looking at this little chunker, I know in my heart of hearts, that she is healthy and well loved.
Oh, and a word to the wise, if you are going to breastfeed in public for the first time, practice covering yourself and the baby first. Even if you are just pretending...
I knew from the beginning of my pregnancy that I wanted to breastfeed, and I wanted to try and do it until Charlotte was at least 1 year old. I had done all the research, I knew it was going to be tough being her sole source for nutrition, but I was not prepared for the "speed bumps" and total derailments that came my way.
I talk to new moms about all things baby, and when the subject of breastfeeding comes along, I hang my head and say we are "part time" nursing. I want to be the mom that says "Oh it's wonderful, yes, it was hard at the beginning, but it's so worth it now." I get a lot of "have you tried (fill in the blank)" and "well at least you tried." And if the pediatrician tells me one more time "that's completely normal" I might lose it! I mean really, if everything is normal, how do I know when something isn't normal?
I keep thinking to myself, next time I will know what to expect and hopefully things will be different. My heart aches thinking that I am not doing all I can for Charlotte in these most important few months. But looking at this little chunker, I know in my heart of hearts, that she is healthy and well loved.
Oh, and a word to the wise, if you are going to breastfeed in public for the first time, practice covering yourself and the baby first. Even if you are just pretending...
